Life or Death
by Jennifer White
Summary: This is a true story about my life and some sense of trouble I got into after my older sister had died.


**This is all a true story based on my experiences with life. My real name is not Jen for those who are reading this and neither are the names that I have used in substitution for the people who have been involved in this true story. **

'**...' means new scene in separations of dream/nightmare and reality or to move along.**

Life or death?

As time ticked the night was still, as even the slightest movements were heard. It was very calm for a night like this, but deep within the clear night. A bright beam of the moonlight shone through the mere gap of my yellow curtains that had flower patterns on them. My eyes were sore and half open, still thinking about the morbid event before. Too tired to even notice that I had fallen asleep soundlessly. The picture of my older sister fell out of my right hand and onto the floor...

...

I stood alone in the middle of nowhere, everything was black and I couldn't see. So much so I even thought I had become blind! There was nothing there but me – and only me. I kept myself calm but fear was growing inside of me. Now I knew that I was achluophobic, I was shivering. Fully alert as if someone was to kidnap me. Turning my head left to right and in all directions, I was wanting to see every angle. A touch on the side and I shrieked.

"Calm down!" a familiar voice told me. I did not speak but stared at the person, bewildered by who it was. Layers of tears were formed under my eyes as I couldn't control my mixture of emotions. A small smirk appeared, and I was already in the person's arms.

"I-I can't believe it! It's really you!" I yelled.

"Watch out! You almost made me fall over."

"Sorry sis." I continued to hug "I just missed you was too much!"

"I can tell," she replied.

"How is it that you're back?" I thought you were dead..."

"I'm not back you're standing in the middle of the living and the afterlife."

"Wha...?" confusion got to me and my layered tears ran along my cheeks.

"I'm sorry, but I can't come back."

Silence.

She stared at me "But that doesn't mean you can't come with me."

"Come with you." A little spark went off inside me.

"Yeah, we'll go together." And with that sorted, she held my hand and we walked slowly for a short amount of time. I was unsure where we were going but I knew I was safe with my older sister. How I missed her, I couldn't eat, drink, sleep with her no longer with me. My life totally changed after the incident in London. On her way back home from Oxford Univeristy, and the message came that some idiot caused havoc. I no longer had a person to talk to or/and get advice.

She slowly walked on and I suddenly felt like I hit a brick wall. I stumbled back on my feet but still standing. "What's going on?" I asked in total puzzlement. She stood in front of me as we had a little gap between us.

"I know..." she began, "You're crossing paths to the afterlife."

"Why can't I get through?" I wondered.

"Because you're still a living being." She explained "The only way you and I can be together is that you enter the afterlife."

"How do I do that?" I desperately wanted us together.

"Leave your body behind and let your soul out."

"You don't mean..." she nodded "...kill myself..." I whispered the last bit.

"Come with me and we'll be in paradise forever."

"Paradise.." I mumbles and found it rather tempting.

"Here," she placed a sharp object in my hand. I took it and gazed at my reflection in it. She smiles at me as if I have already done it. "Once you do this there's no turning back," she warned.

Still looking at the knife "What about our family, my friends and my lover?"

"You know you can get all of that in paradise. No more getting bullied, abused and beaten. Everything you ever wanted and all you have to do is leave your body." She made it sound so simple.

"My life is still better than some."

"Listen to yourself 'SOME', aren't you jealous of seeing everyone else happy? Aren't you tired of the **** life you're living? Everything is PERFECT if you come with me, your gateway to heaven!" temptation got closer to me. It sounded so good, something that money can't even buy. However I knew that some things in heaven that aren't the real deal.

"What about my lover? My life might be hard but I found my soul partner and he gives me comfort."

"Is he worth more than heaven?"

"Yes! He's my angel and always will be."

She sniggered "You're forgetting one thing, our parents want you to arrange marriage not in some sort of love marriage."

I blinked more often to hide away the tears "I always wanted to be with him..."

"You can! Just leave your body!"

I took a deep breath, and aimed at my chest, with the blade pointed to my heart, as it beats fast, while my arms throb. I stretched my arms back, and quickly pulled inwards. My body fell to its knees, and my head slung down, with my black hair covering my face, my arms to aside lifelessly. Older sister watched me as I I have done just that.

**Have I killed myself? Actually I kinda spoiled it for you, damn! How can I be typing at the moment?! Anyway please R&R (read and review) **


End file.
